Right now I have my sights on a 50k in August. A pinched nerve in my back set my training behind and the last few weeks I have been pushing my long runs to get on schedule. This is where the saying, "You gotta have heart" rings true.
Every step of my runs have been painful. The miles are going by so slow it seems like time is standing still. I check my watch sometimes to see if it turned off. I am inhaling/exhaling in rapid succession and find I need to remind myself to breathe in and out slowly.
I ran for 2.5 hours the other day, with all of those hours encountering these issues. People always ask "why go through that?" and I've asked myself the same question. Why am I doing something that I am not doing well in currently, that is causing me so much discomfort, and the end result won't be any podium finish. What keeps me moving when all parts of my body are telling me to quit?
The answer is heart. My heart is in it even when my body is not. I WANT to run these miles and I want to jump these hurdles. I know that every painful run I finish will be a stepping stone towards a better, easier and faster day. I am training myself to be a better me. Deep down my heart believes I will be winning something someday if I just put the work in now. It might not be a 50k or a marathon. Or it might be! - regardless if it is a small/back country/no name race. That race might be my race. But it won't be if I don’t have the heart to stick out the hard times.
Many times I felt the burning in my legs while running a race and backed off only to see that the one girl I let pass by get 1st in my age group or to be in the top 5. I want to finish every race knowing nothing was left to give. To throw all my heart in it, otherwise what is the point?
Heart is what makes a person get up at 4:45 a.m. and run for hours before working an 8 hour day. Heart is what is going to make me the person I think I am meant to be. So until my heart gives out, or it finds another reason to beat, I will push through the hard times awaiting the easier days ahead.